An elderly gentleman fell in love with a woman somewhat younger than he. The man decided to propose marriage. He called on her, got down on his knees, and said, “I love you, and I have two questions for you. The first is, will you marry me?” “Yes!” she replied, then asked, “Now what is the second question?” The elderly gentleman replied, “The second question is, “Will you give me a hand getting back off my knees?

A doctor describes his ninety-three-year-old patient and dear friend as “one of the most inspiring men I have ever met.”

He said, “What a remarkable old fellow he is! He still works six days a week, operating a family business. I asked my friend, “How long are you going to live?” Smiling, he said, “Oh, I’m planning to live to one hundred!” “Wow!” I exclaimed, “How can I live to be one hundred?”

“Very simple,” he replied, “anybody can live to be one hundred. All you have to do is live to be ninety-nine – and then be very careful!”