For me, I think “self-hate” or “low self esteem” stem from my father’s daily assessments of my worth. When you grow up being told you’re a “bum,” a “lump,” a “slob,” a “head case,” etc. etc. it’s not surprising that, no matter what I might have achieved with work, family, art, sports, relationships, I still often call myself an “idiot,” an “asshole,” “retarded” and all matter of slights. Now I’m 70 and I know none of these terms really apply to who I am today or, for that matter, whom I’ve ever been. But I’ve found that, even with daily Tai Chi and meditation (I’ve been practicing TM for over 50 years), the self-flagellation continues. It takes effort in the course of any given day to catch myself and tell that negatory voice to shut up.
