Religion, religious beliefs or activities has had little to do with my life. I was raised with religion. Later I discovered spirituality. That has deeply aided and effected my life. Since beginning my spiritual journey I have learned much about inner life, discovering areas to release, others to change , beliefs have shifted greatly. I review from time to time and sometimes say to myself, I was like that!!!??? And I am so glad to be where I am, to be who I am. Spirituality has enhanced intuition. It was always there. I have learned to trust intuition and follow its leading. I notice the difference when I choose to ignore those promptings.
I was born with giver, caretaker qualities. I also learned the difference between being of service and being co-dependent. There is a dynamic difference. It is important to know the boundaries of giving of myself too much and taking time to recharge. Just because I can keep going does not mean it is wise.
In 2022 a close friend required open hear surgery. She has no siblings or family. One other friend who is on the road for work most of a year. I filled in the gap. She was in and out of hospitals and rehab facilities most of the year. She had two cats at home I looked after as well. I live a minimum of 30 miles from any location of where she was. At times, she stayed with me for sort periods until she rented a small home in her town. Her husband with dementia died, who I also visited. 2023 rolled around. Though better, my friend still had episodes of urgent doctor visits, not driving yet, I took her. By the end of 2023, she began driving some to get RXs. She lives in town where things are with a mile or two.
Now, in 2024, My visits are spaced out. I do go help with housekeeping things, or going with her to doctor appointments as I am her health advocate and POA.
All this I write to say, it is wonderful to be of service, to help, assist, etc. It does exact a physical price. I would change nothing however I am nowhere near as strong as before 2022.. I space what I do now. I take a day in between for myself. I do have my own home and yard that need care. My mental and spiritual needs attention and care as well. I have daily practices that ground and uplift at the same time.
One other piece…….I have done for this friend what I felt “called” to do….could I have been wiser…yes…I have other friends who think i have done more than they think necessary. Maybe so…yet… I have to be true to myself. I have to be true to who I am. I have learned much about who I am, setting boundaries, the ability to say “No” , the ability to speak up for myself with this friend and other friends.
I am who I am, open to shift, grow, expand within. Spirituality has helped me with all this rather than religion. And kudos to those who religion does the same for them. WE are not separate.
RuthAnne
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